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by Rolf Harris

Yeah... Ah ha ha!... There's an old Australian stockman -- er, rock band -- trying, but dying... They get themselves up onto their collective elbows, revert to their sixties instrumentation, and they try again...

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold,
And she's buying a stairway to heaven, all together now,
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

When she gets there she knows, if those stores are all closed,
With a word she can get what she came for, all together now,
With a word she can get what she came for.

Oooooh and it makes me wonder.
How does it affect you blokes?
Oooooh and it makes us wonder.
Yeah, that's interesting, that, yeah... Heh!

There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure,
'Cos you know sometimes words have two meanings, all together now,
'Cos you know sometimes words have two meanings.

A lot of words have two meanings... erm, like in this song, the word "to buy": "buying a stairway to heaven", "bought"... oh no, that's "brought" isn't it, the other one... oh well, erm... there's lots of words have two meanings.

In a tree by the brook there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven, all together now,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Miss Given? Just, er, change instruments now. Thank you very much. Miss Given, ladies and gentlemen! Is that nice to have your name mentioned in the song? Yeah, isn't that good? Ha! Lovely lady... (Clears throat; plays didgeridoo while one of the band plays free trembler) Quick burst of applause for Ross there, on the free trembler. Good one! Can I change instruments again?... Thank you. (Clears throat) Nearly finished. Ha ha ha! Hoo! (Clears throat again)

There's a lady I'm sure that I've mentioned before,
Yeah, I did, yeah,
And she's buying a stairway to heaven, ALL TOGETHER NOW,
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

Oooooh and it makes me wonder,
Oooooh and it makes us wonder,
Oooooh and it makes us wonder...
It... makes... us... won...der...

(Laughter and fake applause from Rolf.)

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